The Rope Isn’t Real

Author

Ed Clementi
May 19, 2025

You’re Not Stuck. You’ve Just Been Trained to Think You Are.

Too many people I talk to lately feel stuck — but they’re not.

This week I dropped a new podcast episode about something that hits way too close to home for a lot of people.

The kind of thing I’ve heard over and over in conversations, coaching sessions, and messages from people just trying to move forward in their careers — but stuck under someone who doesn’t know how to lead. And worse, isn’t even trying.

It felt like one of those topics that couldn’t just live in one place.
I needed to bring it here too — to write it out — because too many people are living this story right now.

You Keep Showing Up. They Don’t.

There’s a moment that happens — maybe suddenly, maybe after years — when you realize:

Your boss just isn’t a leader and is not going to become one.

You’ve been waiting for them to finally show up as someone who sees you.
Supports you. Develops you. Inspires you.

But they’re not coming.
Not next week. Not after the offsite. Not after they “work on their communication.”

And every day you keep hoping — you’re handing over your future to someone who doesn’t know what to do with it.

The System Rewards the Wrong Things

Here’s the truth no one wants to say:

They were never taught how to lead.
They were promoted for output, not growth.
For survival, not strength.
For knowing how to keep a plate spinning — not how to build a team that thrives.

So they guard what little power they have.
They stay vague.
They hoard opportunity.
They leave you guessing — and shrinking.

And what’s worse?

They’ve made you question whether you're doing something wrong.

You’re not.
You’re just stuck under someone who never should’ve been in charge.

Lead Yourself First

No, you can’t “fix” them.
And no, going scorched-earth won’t serve you.

But you can — and must — take ownership of what comes next.

Here’s how to start:

🔹 Keep Bringing Value, Not Noise

Show up with clarity, not complaints.
Solutions, not side comments.
Even when you’re ignored, keep adding weight where it matters — people are watching.

🔹 Build Sideways and Up

Don’t stay trapped in your own corner.
Network across teams. Follow up with senior folks after meetings.
Build real trust without playing games. That’s how doors open.

🔹 Say the Damn Thing

Don’t wait to be asked.
If you’re doing the work, take the mic when it counts.
Someone important will notice — and wonder why you haven’t been seen sooner.

🔹 Invest in the One Thing They Can’t Control

Yourself.
Your growth. Your voice. Your leadership.
When you get better — sharper, clearer, bolder — you multiply your value.
And when you do that, you take your power back.

🎙 Full episode here if you want to go deeper: Totally Unacceptable – Your Boss Isn’t A Leader and It’s Hurting Your Career or find it wherever you get your podcasts)

You Were Never Tied Down — You Just Stopped Trying

Have you heard the parable of the elephant and the rope?

I’ve told this story many times — and it always gets people thinking.

A traveler walks past an elephant camp and sees something strange.
These massive animals — strong enough to trample trees — are tethered by nothing but a thin rope around one leg.

Confused, she asks the trainer, “Why don’t they break free?”

He says, “When they’re babies, we tie them with the same rope. They tug and pull, but they’re too small to break it. Eventually, they stop trying. And when they grow up — even though they could snap it in seconds — they don’t. Because they believe they can’t.”

I’ve seen so many brilliant people — in boardrooms, on Zoom calls, in the middle of big careers — who’ve stopped pulling.

Simply because at some point, someone made them believe they couldn’t.

If that’s you — I want you to remember this:

The rope isn’t real.
It never was.
You’ve just been trained to think it is.

For the Ones Still Waiting — and the Ones Who Should Be Leading

There comes a point when you stop spinning in circles and finally name what’s going on.

Not just “my boss is tough.”
Not just “it’s a weird culture.”
But the truth:
“I’m stuck under someone who doesn’t know how to lead — and I’ve been hoping that will magically change.”

If you’re there right now…
Let this be your line in the sand.

Move. Speak. Build your way out.
Because no one’s handing you the keys.
You’ve had them the whole time.

And for the leaders out there reading this — the ones who know deep down they’ve been falling short —
I hope you take a hard look at the weight you carry, and the people who carry it because of you.

Start leading like it matters. Because it does.

With Absolute Sincerity,

Ed Clementi, Founder & CEO of Inspired Fire, LLC

Make an Impact and Feel an Impact.